Art by Linda Parker
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March's Book Review Continued
 March 1, 2002This Months Book Review
Droll Stories
The Droll Stories of Honore De Balzac
The Book League of America
New York
Title of One Section Located in The First Ten Tales:
The High Constable's Wife
It is necessary here to explain to those who are ignorant
of it, the locality of the Hotel d'Armagnac, which had a
notable situation near to the royal houses of St. Pol.
On this site has since been built the Hotel of
Longueville. Then, as at the present time, the residence
of d'Armagnac had a porch of fine stone in the Rue St.
Antoine, was fortified at all points, and the high walls
by the river side, in face of the Ile du Vaches, in the
part where now stands the port of La Greve, were
furnished with little towers. The design of this has
for a long time been shown at the house of Cardinal
Duprat, the king's chancellor. The constable racked
his brains, and at the bottom, from his finest
stratagems, drew the best, and fitted it so well to the
present case, that the gallant would be certain to be
taken like a hare in the trap. " 'Sdeath," said he,
"my planter of horns is taken, and I have the time now
to think how I shall finish him off."
Now this is the order of battle which this grand hairy
captain who waged such glorious war against Duke
Jean-sans-Peur commanded for the assault of his
secret enemy. He took a goodly number of his most
loyal and adroit archers, and placed them in the quay
tower, ordering them under the heaviest penalties to
draw without distinction of persons, except his wife,
on those of his household who should attempt to
leave the gardens, and to admit therein, either by
night or by day, the favoured gentleman. The same
was done on the porch side, in the Rue St. Antoine.
The retainers, even the chaplain, were ordered not
to leave the house under pain of death. Then the
guard of the two sides of the hotel having been
committed to the soldiers of a company of ordnance,
who were ordered to keep a sharp look out in the side
streets, it was certain that the unknown lover, to
whom the constable was indebted for his pair of horns,
would be taken warm, when, knowing nothing, he
should come at the accustomed hour of love to
insolently plant his standard in the heart of the l
egitimate appurtenances of the said lord count.
It was a trap into which the most expert man would fall
unless he were seriously protected by the fates, as was
the good St. Peter by the Saviour when he prevented
him going to the bottom of the sea the day when they
had a fancy to try if the sea were as solid as terra firma.
The constable had business with the inhabitants of
Poissy, and was obliged to be in the saddle after dinner,
so that, knowing his intention, the poor Countess Bonne
determined at night to invite her young gallant to that
charming duel in which she was always the stronger.
While the constable was making round his hotel a
girdle of spies and of death, and hiding his people near
the postern to seize the gallant as he came out, not
knowing where he would spring from, his wife was
not amusing herself by threading peas or seeing black
cows in the embers. First, the maid-servant who had
been stuck, unstuck herself and dragged herself to her
mistress; she told her that her outraged lord knew
nothing, and that before giving up the ghost she would
comfort her dear mistress by assuring her that she
could have perfect confidence in her sister, who was
laundress in the hotel, and was willing to let herself be
chopped up as small as sausage-meat to please
Madame. This she was the most adroit and roguish
woman in the neighbourhood, and renowned from the
council chamber to the Trahoir cross among the
common people, as fertile in invention for the desperate
cases of love.
Then, while weeping for the decease of her good chamber
woman, the countess sent for the laundress, made her
leave her tubs and join her in rummaging the bag of good
tricks, wishing to save Savoisy, even at the price of her
future salvation.
First of all the two women determined to let him know their
lord and master's suspicions, and beg him to be careful.
Now behold the good washerwoman who, carrying her tub
like a mule, attempts to leave the hotel. But at the porch
she found a man-at-arms who turned a deaf ear to all the
blandishments of the wash-tub. Then she resolved, from
her great devotion, to take the soldier on his weak side,
and she tickled him so with her fondling that he romped
very well with her, although he was armourplated ready
for battle; but when the game was over he still refused to
let her go into the street, and although she tried to get
herself a passport sealed by some of the handsomest,
believing them more gallant: neither the archers, men-
at-arms, nor others, dared open for her the smallest
entrance of the house. "You are wicked and ungrateful
wretches," said she, "not to render me a like service."
Luckily at this employment she learned everything, and
came back in great haste to her mistress, to whom she
recounted the strange machinations of the count. The
two women held a fresh council and had not considered
the time it takes to sing Alleluia, twice, these warlike
appearances, watches, defences, and equivocal, specious,
and diabolical orders and dispositions before they
recognized by the sixth sense with which all females are
furnished, the special danger which threatened the poor
lover.
Madame having learnt that she alone had leave to quit the
house, ventured quickly to profit by her right, but she did
not go the length of a bow-shot, since the constable had
ordered four of his pages to be always on duty ready to
accompany the countess, and two of the ensigns of his
company not to leave her. Then the poor lady returned to
her chamber, weeping as much as all the Magdalens one
sees in the church pictures, could weep together.
"Alas!" said she, "my lover must then be killed, and I shall
never see him again!....
He whose words were so sweet, whose manners were so
graceful, that lovely head that has so often rested on my
knees, will now be bruised...What! can I not throw to my
husband an empty and value-less head in place of the one
full of charms and worth...a rank head for a sweet-smelling
one; a hated head for a head of love."
"Ah, Madame!" cried the washerwoman, "suppose we dress
up in the garments of a nobleman, the steward's son who is
mad for me, and wearies me much, and having thus
accoutred him, we push him out through the postern."
Thereupon the two women looked at each other with
assassinating eyes.
"This marplot," said she, "once slain, all those soldiers will
fly away like geese."
"Yes, but will not the count recognize the wretch?"
And the countess, striking her breast, exclaimed, shaking
her head, "No, no, my dear, here it is noble blood that must
be split without stint."
Then she thought a little, and jumping with joy, suddenly
kissed the laundress, saying, "Because I have saved my
lover's life by your counsel, I will pay you for his life until
death."
Thereupon the countess dried her tears, put on the face of a
bride, took her little bag and her prayer-book, and went
towards the church of St. Pol, whose bells she heard ringing,
seeing that the last Mass was about to be said. In this sweet
devotion the countess never failed, being a showy woman,
like all the ladies of the court. Now this was called the full-
dress Mass, because none but fops, fashionables, young
gentlemen and ladies puffed out and highly scented, were to
be met there. In fact no dresses were seen there without
armorial bearings, and no spurs that were not gilt.
So the Countess Bonne departed, leaving at the hotel the
laundress much astonished, and charged to keep her eyes
about her, and came with great pomp to the church,
accompanied by her pages, the two ensigns and men-at-
arms. It is here necessary to say that among the band of
gallants who frisked round the ladies in church, the
countess had more than one whose joy she was, and who
had given his heart to her, after the fashion of youths who
put down enough and to spare upon their tablets, only in
order to make a conquest of at least one out of a great
number.
Among these birds of fine prey who with open beaks
looked oftener between the benches and the paternosters
than towards the altar and the priests, there was one upon
whom the countess sometimes bestowed the charity of a
glance, because he was less trifling and more deeply
smitten than all the others.
This one remained bashful, always stuck against the same
pillar, never moving from it, but readily ravished with the sight
alone of his lady whom he had chosen as his. His pale face
was softly melancholy. His physiognomy gave proof of a fine
heart, one of those which nourish ardent passions and
plunge delightedly into the despairs of a love without hope.
Of these people there are few, because ordinarily one likes
more a certain thing than the unknown felicities lying and
flourishing at the bottommost depths of the soul.
This said gentleman, although his garments were well made,
and clean and neat, having even a certain amount of taste
shown in the arrangement, seemed to the constable's wife to
be a poor knight seeking fortune, and come from afar, with his
nobility for his portion. Now partly from a suspiction of his
secret poverty, partly because she was well beloved by him
and a little because he had a good countenance, fine black
hair, and a good figure, and remained humble and submissive
in all, the constable's wife desired for him the favour of women
and of fortune, not to let his gallantry stand idle, and from a
good housewifely idea, she fired his imagination according to
her fantasies, by certain small favours and little looks which
serpented towards him like biting adders, trifling with the
happiness of this young life, like a princess accustomed to
ply with objects more precious than a simple knight. In fact,
her husband risked the whole kingdom as you would a penny
at piquet. Finally it was only three days since, at the
conclusion of vespers, that the constable's wife, pointing out
to the queen this follower of love, said laughing---------------
Note From Collectible Treasures:
There are five more pages to this one story in the Section:
The First Ten Tales
There are three different sections in this book:
The First Ten Tales
The Second Ten Tales
The Third Ten Tales
There are some unusually interesting photos in this book.
I have included one as well as a photo of the book itself.
I hope you enjoyed the brief book review of :
The Droll Stories, ( The High Constable's Wife )
Taken from the First Ten Tales.
   **Note: The Rest of This Story Will Be Told on Next Month's
Book Review, so Join In And See How The Story of The
High Constable's Wife Ends!!**
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